In this regard, the book suffers when its language becomes esoteric.3 Crucial Conversations is but one book in a whole business/communication training program. For that reason, the vocabulary used by the authors never gets too far beyond a middle-school reading level.2 I’m hopeful that a conscious effort on my part to spend less time convincing my co-counsel why my trial strategy or theme is right and to spend more time listening to his thoughts and ideas will result in a more effective trial presentation.įor the most part, Crucial Conversations avoids using too many “10-dollar words.” It’s written to appeal to as broad a group of people as possible. Instead, the authors encourage team members to remember why they are having a conversation: For example, “Let’s devise a trial strategy.” Then we’re to use reflective language that encourages team members to share their own opinions. When we are working in a team-oriented environment, the authors say that aggressive personalities or strong advocacy of one’s position stifles communication and limits the free flow of information between people. The book’s authors repeatedly emphasize the need to set aside the desire to be “right” all the time. One of the most helpful tips Crucial Conversations contains is incredibly simple yet painfully difficult to practice in a profession built on advocacy. While I have no doubt that practicing what the book preaches will be easier said than done, I expect to engage in more open, productive discussions with my coworkers, law enforcement, and courthouse staff in the future. Each individual chapter builds off the chapters that precede it as the authors lay out their program for becoming a better communicator. If you are like me, you will see many of your own failings in the book’s various examples. Throughout the book, the authors use a series of hypothetical situations and testimonials to illustrate the various failures in communication that they have set out to help you overcome. To this end, readers are given a number of different techniques for expressing their own opinions in a way that doesn’t intimidate other parties into silence or push them into an argument. With each chapter, the authors lay out techniques for fostering an environment where everyone involved in the crucial conversation feels safe providing honest and complete information to raise the group IQ. In fact, it is clear that the central tenant of the authors’ program is that the higher the group IQ, the better the results. The book wants you (and the members of your team) to have all the information needed to make the best decision. Getting it right, not getting what you wantĬrucial Conversations isn’t too concerned with you getting what you want. On more than one occasion, the reader is encouraged to avoid advocating his individual opinion. The authors’ primary goal is to help with communicating with those people whose goals and interest are aligned with yours. (Sounds like a lot of the conversations you’ve had with defense attorneys, doesn’t it?) Unfortunately, the aim of the book isn’t to increase your skill in adversarial communications. This is the very first question the authors ask and, in answering the question, they do a pretty good job selling you on the idea of dedicating several hours of your life to reading the 200 pages or so that follow.1 From the start, crucial conversations are defined as conversations where 1) opinions vary, 2) stakes are high, and 3) emotions run strong. What is a ‘crucial conversation?’ And who cares? The book contains plenty of good lessons for those who are looking to improve their communication with coworkers, law enforcement, and court staff however, readers should prepare themselves to wade through a lot of filler to get to the book’s scattered kernels of helpful information. The book’s authors promise you the tools you will need for talking when the stakes are high, but their book is a largely hit-and-miss affair. Have you ever been drawn into a CLE presentation by a fascinating subject and a well-credentialed presenter, only to find yourself struggling to pay attention well before the mid-way point? Welcome to Crucial Conversations. Assistant County & District Attorney in Rusk County
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